That’s Not Wrestling #9: Turn The Page, Please!

“It’s time to turn the page on the latest edition of That’s Not Wrestling! The truth is the wrestler known as Zane Redwood is not the real wrestler. If you don’t believe me, check out the character sheet: Name: Zane Redwood Real Name: Simon Blackwood Height: 6’2” (188 cm) Weight: 200 lbs (90.7 kg) Weight Class: Light Heavyweight Deck: #14 When the author writes: “Real wrestler”, it means the Zane Redwood character is not real. And if you’re wondering who is the real wrestler, it’s Simon Blackwood.

As I said in the last episode, I’m kind of sick of the word wrestling. And I guess it’s true: in today’s show, I’m looking at a game called Turn the Page, which is a great example of how wrestling can be translated into a board game.

Turn the page please! Welcome! Welcome to the ninth edition of That’s Not Wrestling, a series where I play videogames for a couple hours each day and then write about my experiences. Each week, I’ll be talking to you about the games I played, talking about what I thought of them, and maybe a little bit about the developer who made them.

This Is Not Wrestling #9: Turn the page!

Sport

Welcome and thank you for coming! A few years ago, it seemed the planets were aligned for a fantastic change in professional wrestling. Everyone was talking about a shiny new promotion with a TV contract and serious, athletic wrestling. Finally, the life of the modern wrestling fan, who had to eat shit and learn to love the taste, was over. Or is it? We meet here every Thursday to deconstruct the actions of stupid, dangerous and desperate people in the pro….. struggle. At least at AEW.

A bittersweet theme. It’s not wrestling this week. It’s frustrating when something you love is overplayed or changed to something completely different. That’s not the case with wrestling. I’ve said before that there are a few guys in AEW that I have my eye on that could become big stars with the right approach. Here is a man who should be at the top, but who has also shown that he is capable of roughing up the fight for cheap publicity and quick acclaim. I hope he can turn this chapter of his career around and we go far, far away from it and start something better than ever before….. but he’s at AEW, so I won’t hold my breath.

Before we begin, here’s a little anecdote from me for you. It’s just the opening song, so there’s no need to get distracted. Press the play button and keep scrolling!

North and influence!

If, like me, you were brave enough to wander through the sewers of Impact Wrestling last year, chances are you noticed something other than floating feces and Don Callis. Besides Moose, Taya Valkyrie, Tasha Stills, Rohit Raju, Kylie Ray, Eric Young, Deonna Purrazzo and a few others, the team also had a dominant tag team known as North.

The duo was Josh Alexander of Walking Guns and someone we’ve seen a lot of lately, All Ego Ethan Page. Without compromising anyone’s abilities, I’ll make some general comparisons to save time. Think of Ethan Page as the Die-Rocky-Die era Rock, mixed with Miz. Josh Alexander finished somewhere between Kurt Angle and Ken Shamrock. Paige stood dumbfounded, confused and amused; Alexander held up his hands and smashed their faces to a pulp. It was an interesting configuration.

The Norsemen retained the title from the 5th. July 2019 at 19. July 2020 and retained the gold for the second time as the Good Brothers looked to put the belts between themselves and the Motor City Machine Guns. Shortly thereafter, North broke up and went their separate ways, with Page apparently leaving the company to join AEW.

I know that looking like an Impact Wrestling superstar is not very impressive to some. The only reason I let Impact try to win me over again is because WWE and AEW are hitting a wall due to lack of audience and ideas. I thought Impact had a chance to surprise everyone with something more serious and mature, which he did to some extent, but it didn’t last long.

In my opinion, Impact had the best women’s division (see: Jordan Grace vs. Deonna Purrazzo), and their tag matches made sense….. Most of the time. The Impact started by overdoing the pre-shootout nonsense during the lockdown, and they didn’t break that habit; in fact, it got worse. The first five minutes of Wrestle House were moderately entertaining, Impact got hooked on the format and desperately wanted a Karate Man.

The Karate Man

Like The Young Bucks, The Good Brothers and many others, Ethan Page creates his own extracurricular entertainment online. Some of the footage is fanfest footage where he and others have their products purchased. Some videos show Page’s love of action figures, toys, food and fitness. Sometimes Paige shoots clips from behind the scenes of wrestling shows, but every now and then he likes to tell stories about the Karate Man.

I’ve always suggested that people find a productive/relaxing hobby that they enjoy and do it as often as possible. Making movies in his spare time was undoubtedly a way for Page to stay sane while he traveled/lived away from home/was in prison for a while, so I totally understand where this idea came from. I don’t think it would hurt his online fanbase and the attention he gets on fanfests! Some of the fan interaction photos are very interesting, and MJF even appears from time to time. As good as this part was, I didn’t expect the sequel…. and I regret not seeing it when it came out.

Ethan Paige vs. The Karate Kid

I’m obviously not going to denigrate those who play with multiple and/or dissociated personalities on the internet. I’m going to go on a rant about a topic that should have remained just an argument on social media. Paige and the karateka started a feud on Twitter, the karateka challenged Paige to a duel, and it eventually ended with Paige filming a fight scene between her and her character on YouTube.

It would be one thing if it was just a case of I’m a filmmaker and I’m locked in; here’s something on my personal thread that I did to pass the time, but it’s not. Impact/TNA airs it as part of a pay-per-fucking-view ! Obviously Paige agrees with me and didn’t agree with Impact being removed from the program, but this isn’t the first time someone in the wrestling business has backed down when things aren’t going as well as planned.

I am so embarrassed by the way IMPACT! edited this segment and made it a joke. I found the idea of the same guys fighting each other funny enough. The more seriously you took it, the better the response. But since I left the company, they lied to me and did what they wanted to do all along. I’m sorry if some of my fans paid for this PPV and felt cheated. I honestly think the free version I gave away was made with more love, care and attention to detail. Unfortunately, I had no control over the design or the final product, and the publisher refused to send it to me ahead of time ….. So I saw the movie live with you and surrounded by your family. Everyone is scratching their heads that this is a high school project being submitted for a PPV. -Ethan Page

Even though there’s a more serious version of it on his channel, we’re still swimming in waters as close as Kenny Omega’s fight with children and blow-up dolls. I wish it weren’t true, but these things happen.

In fact, I was begging for IMPACT! Not even a karate chopper on TV. I just wanted it for my YouTube channel. But, uh… we don’t write soap operas. We just take scripts and do our best. I don’t know what else to say. It breaks my heart that the company refuses to respect his talent and his fans on a regular basis. -Ethan Page

Talk about lack of respect for the fan base and for talent…. In two years, AEW has proven that making stuff up when something goes wrong is the order of the day there, so I’m wary of Page’s attempt to distance himself from it. Unfortunately, there are enough people backstage and online who clap like sea lions to know that this kind of nonsense belongs on a wrestling show on TV, not on a YouTube channel.

This video (both versions, to be fair) has become as embarrassing to Page as a sex tape to a news anchor. Sure, there are a few people who will support Paige because they saw her in an unflattering situation and are relieved about it, but everyone else shows the video and makes fun of her, then Paige. The disgusting transformation of a great talent into a sloppy comedy was the straw; I stopped watching Impact and have never regretted it.

The beginning of AEW

At the AEW Revolution last March, it was a pleasant surprise to learn that Ethan Page had joined AEW and signed a three-year contract. But once the excitement was over, I wondered what Paige had to offer to a promotion not exactly known for its sports presentations. After all, Page still has his YouTube channel, and the Young Bucks still consider AEW an extension of their online show. Everything that happens in this world can (and probably will) intersect with this world.

Fortunately, Paige focused on Darby Allin first and fought him. These guys know each other very well and work well together. Soon this distaste overtook the two men: Allin found support in Sting, and Paige teamed up with Scorpio Skye. Skye and Paige have proven to be excellent as solo and team wrestlers; on paper, this duo is pretty formidable.

cross his fingers

Paige and Skye showed good teamwork, they know what to do when the referee has their back, they are good at getting the crowd going, and I think I even saw a tag team used! Let’s face it: Both are overqualified to work as double referees in AEW, and hopefully Paige can show that she knows what she’s doing there week in and week out. He’s had a few good performances so far, but overall he’s only beaten Old Man Face Paint and his grandson a few times before losing in an official match at the PPV. Oh yeah, now he dresses like a beach runner instead of a nasty athlete. It’s pretty much the same sign.

Please, Paige, please. I know the smell of your own and others’ farts can be intoxicating and invigorating, but the novelty of the AEW era of schoolyards is passing. Keep your head up, work hard and try to stand out from the crowd… without making a mockery of yourself. This crap is just a New Coke thing, but within wrestling. Tradition and respect for the fundamentals will return when people realize they don’t have as much fun today and remember how glorious, fun and profitable it all used to be.

The biggest problem is that some people have already invested a lot of time, money and influence into this modern model of cosplay wrestling. Once they understand it, they won’t be quick to go back to the original recipe, if they remember it at all. Perhaps most of them have forgotten or never knew what real wrestling was. It’s starting to look like that, especially with everyone defending themselves so easily.

Anyway, my heart hasn’t quite been ripped out yet, so I’m still (tentatively) watching Ethan Page with fairly high expectations.

That’s it for this week. Thank you for visiting. Don’t forget to check out Putting It Bluntly: Analysis of AEW Double or Nothing on my YouTube channel. See you Monday at #AnotherWeekOfWrestling and next Thursday at #ThatsNotWrestling!

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